I also went to the Anarchist Book Fair today, not knowing what to expect, exactly. I stumbled into a two hour presentation on activist filming that was put together by a long time activist and film maker. It opened my eyes to a group of people that I'd always marginalized in the past. I always assumed activists were yokels and crazies. I find I'm identifying with them more and more. One major disagreement I have with activist movements in general is that they are focused too much on trying to change other people's behaviour. I fall firmly in the camp of John Michael Greer's concept that activism must be done at the personal level. I must change my behaviour before I can expect, never mind demand, that others change their lives too.
Today I ran across a homeless man just outside a liquor store. He greeted me, and I didn't hesitate to put three quarters into his palm. He was very polite about it, thanked me kindly, and I went on my way. There is a lot of compassion and empathy within me that I'm really starting to tap in to. On my way back to the hotel, I thought about my decision to go back to work in Winnipeg, and how I would be wasting my time there, exchanging my precious hours for a pay cheque. I thought that if I lived humbly, the money I have saved up from selling my house could support me for many years. I could finally listen to my fucking heart for once instead of my head and do something truly worth while. I often question the use of earning more money from a job I hate, since money is more than likely going to go through some pretty drastic changes in the near future. I don't want to throw another year's worth of work time away into that soulless, God-forsaken office.
R.I.P., uncle. Your soul is free to find its way to the realm beyond.
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